In my last post i said i was about to try out for a band. I did that last weekend and it was an interesting experience. They were looking for a thrashing, genius, rock’n’roll lead guitar player. I didn’t fit the bill. They were all in there forties or fifties and were talking about going on tour and record deals. I however saw ordinary songs and ordinary players. It was fun as a jam but i knew it wasn’t going any further. Every song had a guitar solo section and i struggled to find 16 bars of creativity for evey song. So we parted company. As i was driving home i began to think about where i am in life. I am in my forties and i have played a lot of music. I realised that being famous and rich had lost it’s appeal to me. At home i had a wife who loves me even though she knows my faults and 2 sons who want Dad around. I have learned to enjoy the music i do and the people this puts me in contact with. Nothing is about fame and fortune now and i am happier for it.

The amazing thing is that i haven’t been trying to be successful and suddenly i am getting offers to play and people wanting to connect with me. A friend has the dream to make a movie. He has written the script and has producers, actors and even some financial backing. I get to have a go at writing the music for the movie. I get to work from home (when we get one), around my family’s needs, watch movies as research and listen to their music. I want to use strings so get to listen to my favourite classical composers to get idea’s for string parts. Life is very cool. The movie may not make it big but we are enjoying the process.

I wonder where i would be now if i had learned, as a young man, to just enjoy the process instead of only being focussed on being famous. Still i am there now.

I was reading a facebook message by a young guy who is a musician and he was down because no-one was buying his music. I remember being there but i shared with him where i am and hopefully he will get his focus back on the music.

Just to let you know about the house, we lost ours to the bank some months ago. The auction is in 7 days. We live in a converted shed in a friends garden. It is a nice shed, has electricity but no water. We are glad that we have a roof over heads as there are plenty of others who don’t. We are happy because we are a family and we are together. There was a time when i worked 60 hours every week, i didn’t have time for my family and i didn’t play music. I just existed to pay bills. There are many people who have openly told me that i am crazy for giving up work but a home without love is just as much a prison as one with bars.

I can honestly say that money comes and goes, things are new for only a few days, but love endures. I am a lucky man to have love and it has inspired my music to even greater heights.


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