Well would you believe it that I went to work on the project and had to print a couple of things first. While printing there was a bang and everything went off. After resetting the mains electricity the only thing that would not work was my computer. I took it too a computer repairer today and got the “oh my that’s really old. I am not sure there are parts for that.” After some discussion I was offered a solution that was either get mine repaired, but it is old, or upgrade to another computer that may be compatible with the files I have it may not. The hard drives may work, they may not. I could lose all my programs but I could just buy new ones. This the second repair I have had to do on this computer and it is looking like repairs could become a regular part of my life. However the newer computer poses a lot of stress and what ifs and maybes.

Music is on hold because of the pending doom of spend, spend, spend now or spend, spend, spend later. I have some money that I have saved and my music is really important to me but I am tired that computers are money pits that promise much and offer a lot less.

I am going to have to bite the bullet and spend now, work through the stress and hopefully come out the other end free to create again.

I know there is not a great deal of passion in todays blog but the reality is that sometimes to enjoy the thrill of passion you have to embrace the pain and move on. The one thing that I know won’t help is doing nothing. Maybe this is another test to move me forward. I believe that there is a lesson to be learned in everything.

Just this week my youngest son felt some serious pain. His room was getting smaller and smaller because he never put anything away. So he had the pain of tidying his whole room. So far it has taken him 5 hours although some of that was him complaining that no-one was helping him. I smiled and let him feel the pain. Today his room is tidier and he has been bringing these amazing things to show us that he hasn’t seen for months. I gave him the task of getting a piece of paper and on one side listing the benefits of a messy room and on the other the benefits of a tidy room. The first side had the words “nothing at all”. The other side had 6 different reasons for a tidy room. He has written it and it is going on his bedroom door. Every time he leaves the room he will be introduced to the benefits of a tidy room. I wonder if it will have an affect.

I have known for about a year that I need to spend money on my computer, now I have got to do it.

Here I am, I have had this music project sitting there for a couple of weeks and every time I have gone to it there has been something else to do that takes my time. Sound familiar. I really want to do it and finish it but something has stopped me. Could it be fear? I choose what to do with my time and not do. The honest truth is that as long as don’t do something I can’t fail and be rejected as not being good enough. How stupid is that! Never succeeding because I never want to fail. Writing it down is my way of telling myself how pointless this view is. I know that if I saw someone else doing the same thing I would want to encourage them to look past the fear of failure to see the possibility of success. So why don’t I do it myself? I have battled with fear all my adult life and when I have failed it is like saying to myself “I told you so”, but when I succeeded I didn’t celebrate I just saw the next battle.

I have been away for a few days with my eldest son to a quiet place where we could talk. As we did I realised that he has some fears about his future. I decided that now I have something bigger than me to work for. When I overcome my fears and celebrate my failures my son will see a better way to live and, hopefully, do the same.

So, I am starting the music project and I will use this blog as a kind of diary as to what works and what doesn’t, whether I get the job of composing for a film or not, all of it. I will celebrate success or failure because I will have overcome myself and shown my son how to overcome fear.

 

Just as a footnote. I have to say that my e store is not up and running as when we came to test it, my wife was able to buy the item and then there was no page for her to go to download the item. This has been a cause of much frustration and if there is anyone out there with the ability to sort out this problem I would really appreciate HELP. I have failed because I don’t know what to do next and as of this moment I cannot move forward. Please help. I can pay some money if you can solve the problem.

Hello. Today I took a step forward in my journey to realize my dream of having a successful business that helps people realize their musical dreams. I am on the whole illiterate when It comes to how to make things happen on wordpress. I have taken a long time to master posts and pages, urls and short code, but today I set-up my E-Store and Shopping cart all by myself. I found the right tutorial for my product and followed it. When I hit a problem I went back and tried something else and it worked.

I was amazed at my own ability and the fact that I stuck with it until I figured it out. So my first Store item is available and there will be many more. I can only get better from here. I know there is much more work to do but I feel elated and for now that is pretty good.

I have been listening to a series of talks by creative people who have successful online businesses via the Right-Brainers in Business Video Summit. The annual event is finished now but I highly recommend it to anyone who thinks they can’t be successful. Like me, these are ordinary people who dared to say I can do it, and did.

I am going to sleep well tonight after my mammoth achievement.

I’ve been out of work for 3 years. I have been refused interviews for jobs that I am over qualified for. I am 50 and I am looking at who am I. Am I lazy and living off the hard work of others or am I a man who has realised that I must take control of my life and not rely  on the idea that some one will employ me. I have a good brain, a drive for life and years of experience. Like my friend that I talked about in my last post I choose to respect myself even if employers don’t. At the moment my life is in transition. I no longer believe that there is a job out there for me. I now know that I must create my income for myself.

Once I got my head around the idea of working for myself it actually began to be exciting. Nearly a month later and I haven’t earned any money but my life has changed and I know it is only a matter of time before the money follows. I have been listening to a free online conference by creative people who run online businesses and the information has been priceless. I have learnt that it is all about relationships and that asking the right questions opens doors that otherwise stay shut. It is not about sell, sell, sell it is about how can I help you achieve what you need and therefore achieve what I need.

Soul searching for me means that the future looks good. The future isn’t tomorrow or the next day but looking at 2 years time and working towards it today and tomorrow.

 

 

I have been busy the last few days. I went to encourage a friend to get out of a toxic job that was making them sick. They are a brilliant person in their field and yet they are under appreciated. They have so much valuable information to sell but are put off by the whole management of it. So there I was saying to them to pay someone to do the things they can’t. They said I have no money to pay someone so I said tell this person ‘I will pay you 10% of everything you earn for me.” They thought for a moment and said “What about you, will you do it.” What an opportunity, yes I will.” We have talked twice since and have a clear direction to get started and I couldn’t be happier. My friend will soon be free of that toxic job and I get paid to help them.

Today I started learning about another one of my passions – share trading. I love numbers and turning them into money. Shares are a great way to do it. So I found a share market game where I can trade shares with virtual money and try out my ideas without losing any money of my own. The winner of the game is the person with the most amount of money at the end and the prize is $3000 of real money. Everyone starts with $50,000. However the game started in February so I am behind. But today I made $262 profit in my first day. I started the day ranked 4,212 out 10,000 but I think that tomorrow I will have moved up. I have a plan for tomorrow and we will see. For me this is like playing computer games that stretch your mind. I am learning a lot and having fun.

I also taught guitar and recorded a piece of music that I hope will be used in a short movie. I am sitting here tired but really up. Tomorrow I carry on working on my third book and record some more music. Maybe make some more (virtual) money on shares or lose some, spend time with my wife and kids and visit some friends to swap stories.

Life is good.

Hello. I have been going through a journey in my life over the last two weeks that has brought me back to the dreams of my childhood and teens. I have sat down and started from the point of view that I am my greatest asset. I have lived and learned for the last 50 years and accumulated the ability to create ideas, then break them down into components, research the best way to realize each component and therefore complete the idea. Sometimes the ideas are huge and scary but when I break them down into what can I do today to move closer to the goal scary is gone. A win under your belt leads to another and another, then even a setback becomes a new opportunity. Wow a problem helps me go somewhere I hadn’t thought of before.

My life this week has been a round of possibilities and big ideas, excitement and a renewal. I know I am not young again but I feel like that young man who left home believing the world was his oyster. I have no concrete plans but lots of ideas to research and lots of steps towards big ideas.

Life is good.

Hello. I struggled for a while over what to put on my blog. I wanted to write about music and my passion for it, but I found that when you awaken passion it flows into all the areas of your life. So my dilemma was is this the right place to share my other passions. My wife is a very wise woman who said – “whose blog is it? Is it about you? What is worse, writing nothing while you make a big decision or just realizing that there is no big decision and just write?”

Well isn’t life so much simpler when you ask the right questions.

So what am I passionate about? My wife – clever woman that she is. My sons growing to be men. I love teaching because I learn so much. I love creating ways to make money that doesn’t take me out of the home and away from my family.

I have been reading a lot and watching documentaries and they all lead me to a conclusion – that if I spend less than I create I am rich. I have been told that I cannot live on what I get but here I am living a good life and moving forward all the time. At the moment I have to admit centrelink pays my wages but I am busy working towards a future that frees me from dependence while not destroying my relationships with my family in the process. My creativity is up and I have learned that my greatest asset is my brain and my desire to use it. I am not sure what the whole future holds but I know that it is in my hands and it is up to me to mould it into my dreams.

Watch this space for more passion.

Hello.I went and played on saturday with the group BXTA. We played at a community centre and i learned a very valueable lesson. We had two sets and a bit of a gap in between. During the first set we had less than ten people sitting in the seats watching us. I felt pretty flat and i think the others did too. We sat drinking and i thought well that didn’t go well. We had talked about giving a cd away in a draw and we had announced it on stage. No one had come to us to enter the draw so we decided to go and talk to the people who were around, even though we didn’t really want to . We got email addresses to go into the draw and onto our mailing list and i got some positive feedback from people. At the end of going around i had a very different view of our success as a band. We played our second set and gave away a cd. Then we settled down to enjoy the rest of the music and eat something. There i was sausages in one hand and a hot black tea in the other when someone bumped into me and the tea burnt my hand enough for me to end up sat in the St. Johns ambulance area. I had to sit with my hand in water for 20 minutes. So we started chatting and i said to the St. Johns people that i liked the band that were on when one of them said “Yes they are good but i liked the one’s on before better.” “The trio?” I asked. “Yes.” It brought a smile to my face as they didn’t realise that i was the bass player and when i said they looked at me and smiled as they realised that i was. There you go! I didn’t think that getting my hand burnt would have a silver lining. In the end we had 35 emails and the BXTA mailing list is born. If we had taken what was in front of us we would never have known of the people that really liked us.

I wonder how many other times i have missed out on some great people and experiences by not looking deeper than what is in front of me.

We have some really exciting things coming up like a single release – soon. Then throwing ourselves into crowdfunding our first album. One day the dream is to play music full time, excite and inspire a lot of people  and get paid a lot of money for it.

What’s your dream? How cool would it be if it became real.

In the last 3 days i have played more music with more people than for a long time. I have been paid, which does feel good, but to have random people tell they like what you do feels so much better. To have friends and other musicians like what you do makes it all worthwhile. The future looks exciting as i work with more talented people. Two people are Rebecca O’Donnell and Josh. We are working together under the name BXTA. Have you heard of crowdfunding? It is a great opportunity for ordinary, people with vision and heart to invest in others dreams and be a part of their reality. We are looking to record an album of Rebecca’s songs and need help with the cost so we are in the process of applying to one of, the many, crowdfunding sites. We haven’t decided which yet but it will be in next month or 2. Would you invest in us? As the weeks pass i will give everyone more information and you will be able to listen to a single that we will have recorded ourselves. I look forward to sharing this experience with you. Steve.

Hi. My second book is published and after a number of setbacks with the internet i have my audio tracks loaded and ready to go. I am excited about Bass Book 3. So here is the synopsis of Bass Book 2. I hope you give it a try. The link is https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/326455?ref=StephenUtting

This book is the second in a series of six books that I believe will take you, the reader, on a journey to becoming a completely passionate bassist. Building on the foundation of good technique you begin to explore Scales, Arpeggios and Rhythm. Next you learn to combine them to make music. The audio tracks enable you test what you have learnt and create your own bass tracks within the knowledge you have already learnt. You are beginning to be creative and even though there is a long way to go you can start. When I first started playing bass in bands all I knew was one scale shape and how to move it around the fret board to make every scale. The best way to be a bassist is to take every little thing you learn and use it. The thing with bass is that it is primarily a support instrument so you don’t have to know everything to be able to play in a band. This book will give you a very good grounding in one key. Book 3 will expand that to all the keys played in music. Enjoy the next step on the journey and use what you learn.

Steve.